Friendship, Schmenship

“Show me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you who you are.”

Well, that sure as hell wouldn’t work for me. I’ve always been the type of person to make sure my friends were happy. Whether it be moral or emotional support, loaning them money when they need it or even giving them a place to stay. I was basically welfare to them, in a sense. I never did things for people because I wanted to be acknowledged, I did it because that’s the kind of person I was raised to be.

It’s crazy that people think that the length of time you’ve known someone determines how loyal they are to you. *ekkkkk, wrong.*

All of the people in my life currently that I consider “friends” are people I’ve met or have become close with in college, except for 2 people that I’ve known since elementary/middle school. I can honestly say they’ve been the most supportive, loving and genuine group of individuals I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

I’ve come to the conclusion that people I’m no longer friends with were never my friends in the first place. One thing I know for a fact is that people will envy and hate you for no reason other than the fact that you’re you! I love everything about myself, and some people hate the fact that I do. It’s not my job to change the way I feel about myself just so people around me can feel comfortable about themselves.

Losing my old friends was never about them trying to sabotage me or calling me out on Facebook or even about sleep with my ex, it was something deeply rooted in them to cause havoc in my life. I don’t possibly know how a sane person can say you’re their “friend” and cause you so much pain with absolutely no remorse. Just staying in my life, pretending and waiting for the perfect moment to strike. But honestly I could only blame myself, I wasn’t selective about who I let in my life. If I would’ve been more selective in who I chose to give the divine name “friend” I could’ve saved myself some tears. (Y’all know I cry a lot, I’m human) I honestly don’t know why I expected anything less from them. I saw the way they treated their other “friends” and listened to how they’d badmouth them when they weren’t around. It was sickening to watch.

I say all this to say be mindful of who you let disturb your piece. I’ve held on to so much pain and hatred for these people when I should be thanking them. I’m thankful they were so quick to show their true colors and didn’t wait til I was dead or something to spit on my grave (lmao). Thanks for sabotaging my previous endeavors and not my new found passion for blogging and a big thank you for having sex with my ex and not waiting til my wedding day to throw yourself at my husband. Thanks for all the shit you have put me through because it made me who I am today; a strong bad ass woman that’s building an empire with the stones that were thrown at me by you guys. It’s crazy though because I laugh every time I take a trip down memory lane because I remember thinking ‘how the fuck am I gonna live without them?’ Let’s just say I’m living life and surviving.

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