She wasn’t you.

We’re always in search of the next best thing; sometimes the best is looking at us in your face.

In relationships, men stray for various reasons, let me save you the trouble by saying each and every excuse is complete bullshit so don’t even feed on those lies, sis. Now when a woman strays, she looking for that loving and emotional connection that her asshole of a boyfriend isn’t giving to her, so technically it’s not her fault.

As you all may know already, my past relationships have been rocky. Regardless of who was at fault in why the relationship ended *cough cough, him* I learned something from every one of them. But the most important thing I can say I learned is that I’m the shit. (You’re probably thinking ‘who the hell does this girl think she is?’ But hear me out.) I know I’m the shit, and I refuse to allow any of these naive men to treat me any less than that.

Over these past few month, I’ve had a few of my old suitors come back into my life. Now when I was young and dumb, I thought it was a sign. You know that whole “if you love him, let him go and if he comes back, it was meant to be.” Please, please, please, don’t believe that nonsense. If a dude is dumb enough to cheat on you or leave you in search of “better” YOU DONT NEED HIM! A better philosophy would be “If you love him, let him go and when he comes back, STUNT ON HIS ASS, SIS.” Don’t you dare be the receptacle for somebody else’s trash.

The mouthpiece these men have developed over the years are incredible. They can tell you the sky is green and the earth is flat, and you’d believe it because they make such a convincing argument. You have to know yourself and realize that you deserve better than a shitty apology and the whole “she wasn’t you” spiel. No two people are alike, so leaving me then telling me you want another chance because she wasn’t me isn’t close to being a good enough reason. Of course, she wasn’t me, I’m one in a million, I’m a damn unicorn. There were millions of elements that were involved in creating ‘me,’ so trust and believe me when I say no one will EVER be me. Actually, write me a 5-page paper, 12 pt font, single spaced, APA format on how “she wasn’t me,” and I just might consider it.

How can you think deserting me for someone else and coming back boohooing about how she was different and you didn’t really like her, and she’s crazy and telling me she did this and she did that and blah blah blah. WHO THE HELL CARES?! You walked out of my life because you thought I wasn’t good enough for you and you thought your new arm piece was going to be better. Everything you wanted was right here, but you wanted to see if the grass was greener on the other side. And guess what? ALL YOU GOT WAS A PILE OF HAY! Enjoy.

I don’t understand how some men can maneuver through life as if karma doesn’t exist. How can you feel comfortable treating women like shit when you have a mother, sisters, cousins, and nieces. Karma may not hit you directly, but it could hit one of your loved ones. How can you sleep at night knowing that you’re the cause of their problems? I’m sure like a baby, little devils.

But listen, sis. Just continue to live your life, continue flourishing, keep your skin glowing and don’t lower your standards for someone that couldn’t see how valuable you were when they had you. He saw a mirage of a better life with someone else, and it turned out to be a troll holding fools gold. Now I know that sometimes men make mistakes, and they do mean it when they say they’re “sorry,” but you have to look deep inside yourself and decide if this is someone worth your time and attention. Will your peace be disrupted if you accept him back? Will he leave again when another mirage appears? Now it’s your turn to write the 5-page paper. Is he worth it?

-L

13 thoughts on “She wasn’t you.

  1. This was really dope. Made me look at myself as a man. Way to empower women through your words. You hit the nail right on the head.

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  2. Hi..!! This article brought up many factual things.. That do exist.. We can’t ignore.. The boys mentality… Boys are boys… After all… It was a really good read.. Looking forward to have such a good article by you.. Good going..!! ๐Ÿ™‚

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  3. I stumbled upon this post a while ago and I come back to it every few weeks when I start questioning my worth. Your words are exactly what any woman going through it needs to hear. Thank you for being so relatable and honest.

    Like

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