When I first started blogging, it was used as an outlet during a tough time in my life. In turn, it ended up being a go-to blog for other women and even men that were experiencing or have experienced the same things I was going through. For a long time, I thought I was alone in a struggle that I never imagined I’d be in. I fell into a deep depression that I never spoke about because let’s be honest, how can I say I’m depressed when I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back and family and friends that love and protect me at all cost. After a while, I felt like even though I was finding a healthy way to deal with everything going on, I still wasn’t happy. Everyone sees me as the girl that has it all together and always has a smile on her face when in reality, I had no fucking clue what I was doing with my life. I did what I thought I needed to do, but in my heart, I knew it wasn’t what I was passionate about. I stopped blogging and just decided to take some time to myself and gather my thoughts and make sure I had a clear mind so that I can deliver content that I love and that I know my readers would enjoy. I didn’t expect it to take me over a year to do this, but I’m glad to be back.
Year 24 has been about finding myself, learning how to love me again and improving my mental health. There’s such a negative stigma that is associated with mental health and for months I just ignored it. I didn’t want to be seen as “crazy” and I definitely didn’t want to be on any medications. After a while, I started to find other ways to cope with all that I’ve experienced. When things happen in your life, you never really know how it affects you until you’re alone with your thought. After everything that has happened, I’ve changed the way I deal with conflict in order to protect my mental health. I’ve learned that you have to put your own happiness over history. No matter how long you’ve known someone, they can still hurt you, and sometimes more than any stranger could.
Year 24 has taught me to be selfish with time and who I allow to enter and stay in my life. There’s no better feeling than knowing that you’re surrounded by love and people that want nothing but the best for you. Don’t hold on to someone that’s toxic just to alleviate your loneliness. Your time is priceless, and your mental health is worth so much more.
Don’t stress about what you can’t control.
If you’re a perfectionist like me, then this is the LAST thing you want to hear, but I’ll say it anyways; STOP STRESSING ABOUT THINGS YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER! We’re wired to try to control every little detail of our lives but to be honest, it almost impossible. Sometimes things get thrown into the mix that you don’t expect, and you can’t do anything about it but watch it play out and hope for the best.
Make realistic goals.
By age 16 I had my entire life planned out. Year 24 was the year I set to get my entire life in order. I was supose to be graduating pharmacy school, I’d purchase my 1st car on my own, (white range rover with peanut butter seats) and I’d at least have some sort of love interest Lets all laugh at my foolishness.
Now I know I’m not the only one that beats themselves up when things don’t go EXACTLY how we planned. I’ve made so many terrible decisions that I knew weren’t going to benefit my life in any way shape or form, yet I still did it. For weeks even months at a time, I’d continuously replay each scenario and wonder what I could do differently and what would happen if I just didn’t do what I did. I started completing various Bible reading plans that were very helpful in teaching me how to forgive myself as well as others. I learned how to let go of the grudges I held against myself and those that have wronged me. In order to live a genuinely happy life, you have to be at peace with yourself and to do that you have to be willing to forgive. Now some people may also say you need to forget as well, but let’s be honest, we’re human, how much forgetting can we do?